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Monday, 22 June 2009

  • Finding (new) self..

    We're slowly settling in here for the summer.. well as much as we can knowing that our time is limited in New York. This realization follows with many mixed emotions. Excitement, anxiety, sadness, joy, and a sort of holding my breath for what's next.

    I feel like I'm living in a dream, only waiting to wake up to a reality harsher than I am ready for..perhaps that is just a cynical statement. I just couldn't imagine that life could be this beautiful!

    Today I'm 25 years old. This one stings a little. I've justified it by saying ok, I'm 25 and i'm married. Somehow that makes it feel a little less.. old. Perhaps I'm only fooling myself with words. Either way I'm happy, in a way that fills me with so much joy that I overflow with tears.

    I feel like i'm beginning to find myself again.. though I'm not the same person I was the last time I checked in. So, i suppose I'm figuring out (again) who I am.. It's exciting and feels great to have the time to breathe in life and new things..

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

  • 10 thoughts to 10 people...

    I need to get some of this out...

    1. I never thought it would happen. I feel stuck and i'm not sure where to go from here.

    2. I wish I could tell you how I really feel. Well, I guess I have but it didn't seem to make much difference. I think it's really wrong and you're digging yourself a hole and i don't even think you're happy there.
    I don't want to judge you so I just keep my mouth shut..and my distance. And then i feel like an awful friend.Stop being naive.

    3. I don't understand how you got so far away.. or how I can bring you back. I worry about you alot and just want to love you, can't you see that? I'm tired of chasing you. Maybe you don't want me to..?

    4. Sometimes I wish I didn't try so hard with you. ..or that it wasn't so hard to try. Things aren't the same. I miss you.

    5. You have no idea how the little things you do impact us. They bother me and make me cringe. It makes me not want to care either. It's like I don't know you anymore.

    6. Thank you, thank you, thank you.. you continue to bail me out and I could not express my gratitude enough.

    7. I'm not worth it and I don't think that will change. Pick someone who is less jaded..

    8. I want you close more than anything, but I don't show it. I'm sorry.

    9. I wonder what we'd be like today. Sometimes I cry about it and feel jipped because you left like that. Did it hurt for you too?

    10. I don't know what I'm doing. You think I do and I guess that's ok. Just don't be disappointed if it doesn't work.

Monday, 30 March 2009

  • Life is hard.
    If you are growing
    If you are stagnant
    If you are sick
    If you are well

    Life is hard.
    If you are an optimist
    If you are a pessimist
    If you are happy
    If you are sad

    Life is hard.
    If you are fighting
    If you've given up
    If you hate
    If you love

    Life is hard.
    It's in the struggle that we find purpose
    It's through the pain that we change
     

    2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (New Living Translation)

    8 We are pressed on every side by troubles,

    but we are not crushed.

    We are perplexed,

    but not driven to despair.

    9We are hunted down,

    but never abandoned by God.

    We get knocked down,

    but we are not destroyed.



Tuesday, 17 February 2009

  • So much love in my heart it's overwhelming
    So many thoughts in my head I don't know where to start
    Feelings are fragmented, yet glued together.

    I long for the day when my time is my own again.
    Will that day ever come?
    I long to give myself away to others, yet I retreat into me.

    As much as I let go, I hold on too tightly.
    I bite the Hand that feeds me and
    am ambivalent about change.

    The process of marriage doesn't start on the wedding day..

    God, make sense of my mess?

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

  • Unknown..

    I am at such an awkward place..
    Internally I feel anxious and chaotic..
    Not all the time, but there are moments that overwhelm me.

    Time is going too quickly..and not at all.
    I can't seem to grasp that in my reality.
    Everyday is a struggle to make the pieces fit.

    I feel in between movement and stagnation..
    It's like the place on the shore where the waves come in,
    and leave remnants of the sea.
    Sometimes they're treasures, other times trash.

    God I need you..
    Be the calm in my storm.

Creativityfrees

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    • Name: SarahBelle
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    • Birthday: 6/22/1984
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 5/26/2004

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About Me

  • I am broken and empty, nothing without Jesus... I'm an artist, a friend, a lover.. I graduated from Marywood University with a BA in Art Therapy. And I'm attending grad school at SIUE in Illinois for Art Therapy Counseling. I miss home terribly..